Lately, I’ve been reading Shakespeare to my daughter. Based on the number of times she farts during said readings, is her favorite. (She’s one month old, by the way.)

Anyhoo, all this Shakespeare got me thinking…what would the world look like without him? And I don’t mean the conspiracy theory…

First thing: Happy (belated) Halloween!

Second thing: When did the world end?

I’m being facetious, of course. The world is still intact, and will remain that way until the Philadelphia Eagles win another Super Bowl, at which point all existence will implode upon itself. But in my new short story…

The Charmin Bears are an abomination.

I might be coming in a little hot there. But really, the Charmin Bears are gross.

You know them. They’re that pack of multicolored ursine cartoons that have regular family meetings about the quality, texture, and thickness of their toilet paper. …

Kyle A. Massa

A speculative fiction author living somewhere in upstate New York with his wife and their two cats.

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